ABC Threatens John McCain

President of ABC, Stephen McPherson contacted the John McCain camp early Tuesday morning to discuss his use of the moniker "Maverick". ABC holds that name close to their hearts after the long-running show bearing the name. Mr. McPherson told presidential candidate John McCain over the phone that if he uses that nickname again he's going to "send James Garner in to punch out 'his' throat". Mr. McCain explained that he didn't mean any harm and he was merely trying to tell the American people that he felt like an unbranded range animal. In particular, a motherless calf roaming the fields of life. McPherson realized that he could no longer continue the conversation and hung up the phone. Mr. McCain has axed for a restraining order against James Garner, but was denied on the grounds of it being "one of the stupidest things" the judge had ever heard.