Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Global Warming

It's the middle of June. It's 66 degrees and there's a chill in the wind that says April 5th.

FUCK YOU AL GORE. This global warming shit is like beating a dead leprechaun. It's not really dead, because it's not real.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Scooter Fever

Okay, I have to ask.....WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH ALL THE DAMN SCOOTERS? I'm talking about those sit down, motorized cart things that seem to be everywhere these days. It's like a fucking infestation. You can't go into the grocery store anymore without having to dodge these little motors of terror. I don't know how many times I've had to go all the way around because the isle is blocked by a people cart. And for the LOVE OF GOD, STOP DRIVING THESE FUCKING THINGS IN THE STREET! They are NOT meant to be driven there. Hey Zippy, look to your right. THAT my friend, is called a sidewalk. Get the fuck on it before you get plastered by someone not paying attention. What the fuck are they thinking? Seriously, the police need to start giving tickets. I'd feel unbelievably bad if I hit someone that pops out from between two cars on one of those things.

Are there really that many people that need them? If so, we're in trouble, because most of the people using these I see aren't elderly. Is our collective poor health and massive weight getting to us? Is this a side-effect to our quick 'n' easy culture? Could it be that fast food and prepackaged meals brought us to a place where so many of us turn into slugs and cannot even walk anymore? If that's what's happening, we as a society need to do something. What the hell is wrong with us? Mississippi and West Virginia have rates of obesity of at least 30%. The lowest is four states have a rate of somewhere between 15% and 20%. Every other state is above that. That means 46 of the 50 states have an obesity rate above 20%.