Friday, November 14, 2008

वेयरWHERE ARE YOU SUN?

Is it November, or February? The sun hasn't been out for over a week............or, at least that's how it feels. It has been several days. It's wet and cold. I probably wouldn't care as much if I could see the sun. I'm not fucking British! My motivation to do anything is flushed right down the toilet on days like this.

I'm just going to take a nap. Have a good weekend.

~Punko~

Thursday, November 13, 2008

'सूप वित डट?

ओके, .....उम् एवेर्य्थिंग इस तुर्निंग इन्तो अ कुएस्शन मर्काल्स्द्क्ज्फ़;lakjsd Every time I hit the space bar, it sends question marks all over the screen!!!!Fuck! okay, now it stopped. Well, I tried to set up shit to spit out the daily rants "automatically" but instead, Punko fucks it up. Ugh....well the good news is that I have a backlog of crap that you can read on a daily basis.......or let's hope. I'll have to check it every day to make sure I did it right.

THANK YOU FROM SENOR PUNKO!!!!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Erection Pills

So, the commercial says that if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, you should call a doctor. What I was wondering is do these men call their peers at like 3hrs. 58min. just to brag? I don't know about you, but 10 minutes of woodness is too much if it's not being used. Really, what the hell do you do with a boner once everyone has had their fun? ugh, that sounds like hell.....especially if getting one is a problem to begin with. Oh well, hopefully they'll perfect it by the time Punko's poppin' the boner pills.........

Oh, little side note: I saw a feature that was about this study in which they found watermelon rinds to be as effective as Viagra and other wang-stiffening products.....so, there ya go.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Football Bye Week

Q: What does a guy do when his team is on the bye week?
A: The yard....for the last damn time until we don't make the play-offs.

Friday, October 24, 2008

HEY HIPPIE!

I can smell you. PLEASE take a shower. Yes, hippie, I'm talking to you. Peace, love and soap.

+Punko+

Thursday, October 23, 2008

ATTN: CASHIERS

Seriously, use some common sense.(pun unintentional) Do you really think that when you hand me my change that it's a good idea to put the coins on top of the bills? So, there I am holding the shit I just bought from you trying like hell to put my change somewhere and you make me try to balance the fucking coins? What? Is that funny to you? You fucking know that shits just going to slide the fuck off! I'd expect that from a douche bag like me, but how many of me can there be? I know you're probably pissed off because you're a cashier, but stop pissing me off! Oh and by the way, just because you're too fucking stupid to get my joke, that doesn't give you a pass to roll your eyes. And I think your dog pissed on your shirt. It stinks.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

ABC Threatens John McCain

President of ABC, Stephen McPherson contacted the John McCain camp early Tuesday morning to discuss his use of the moniker "Maverick". ABC holds that name close to their hearts after the long-running show bearing the name. Mr. McPherson told presidential candidate John McCain over the phone that if he uses that nickname again he's going to "send James Garner in to punch out 'his' throat". Mr. McCain explained that he didn't mean any harm and he was merely trying to tell the American people that he felt like an unbranded range animal. In particular, a motherless calf roaming the fields of life. McPherson realized that he could no longer continue the conversation and hung up the phone. Mr. McCain has axed for a restraining order against James Garner, but was denied on the grounds of it being "one of the stupidest things" the judge had ever heard.